In my pocket and my heart.

Here's a look inside my pockets today and the verses I've been dwelling on. I keep getting drawn to the Psalms. I was feeling bad about it because it seems like the Psalms are always so good and nice. I wanted something real, you know--something convicting and harsh I guess. God is good though and knows what my heart really needs.

Last week I came to the verse about the fullness of joy found in His presence and the pleasures forevermore at His right hand. So nice and good. Too nice and good I thought, that's why under that verse on my post-it note I put another verse about fearing the Lord. It seems like I didn't want myself dwelling just on God's goodness. It seemed like eating just candy or something.

Now this Friday I was watching the Bethel Church worship service from last week Sunday (on ibethel.tv)and Bill Johnson started out with a few short words to say. He talked about how some verses are just waiting to be adopted. Verses waiting to be found and captured up into someones heart. One of the verses he used was the verse God brought me to earlier that week. The verse saying, "In Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Wow, I thought. I can actually hear God, and God is actually directing me and I'm not just looking for touchy-feely verses. God is such a good God, such a good Father and He really wants me to know that. From today, "Keep me as the apple of Your eye" David wrote in Psalms. That means he was already the apple of God's eye if he's saying keep me there. I'm already the apple of God's eye right now. That's such a special thing, such an amazing place to be in. That I'm loved and special to God; I cant even understand how I am that. I don't even know what "apple of Your eye" really means.

I just looked it up:
"The original meaning of the apple of your eye is the pupil, or the round black spot in the middle of the eye. It is as if that person's reflection can be seen in the pupil ("apple") of your eye. Example: "Everyone knew they would get married someday. She was always the apple of his eye.""

"The apple of your eye is that person (or thing) that you care for the most. Example: "He sure does love his little boy." Reply: "He's the apple of his eye." Example: "You got me the bracelet I wanted!" Reply: "Yes, I knew it was the apple of your eye.""
goenglish.com, Pocket English Idioms

And there is a confidence building in me when I am in this place of His goodness. There is a healing building in me in this place of His goodness. He's making me whole so He can use me in ways I've never imagined yet.

Words kept.

"The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. You shall keep them O Lord. You shall preserve them from this generation forever." Psm. 12:6-7

This past week I've been trying to take a verse or section of verses in the morning and keep them in my head all day. The change it made in me this week was amazing. My whole mind feels so free and clear. I can't stop meditating on this one though. It's been a few days, and I'm not sure if its me being lazy to find another verese that speaks to my whole body as much as this one, or if God just wants me to sit and stay on this for longer.

Pure. Pure like silver purified seven times. Can anything be more perfect than that kind of silver? Can anything be more perfect than those words of my Father? How valuable they are to me. Pure, perfect, valuable words from my God.


You shall keep them.


What else can you say about that, about Him keeping His words? Man. I think that's where the true value comes from. That those true, perfect words are actually going to come to pass. Those words that I am holding onto, His words that give life, His words that get me through the day, they're more than just words they're His promises to me. He will keep them. Just blows my mind.

Promises.

I worked this morning at 6:30am. When I get into town it's always still dark and that makes working all the harder. The only thing that makes getting up that early and going to work worthwhile is the hope of a sunrise out the store's windows. This morning I saw an orange strip of light forming and I knew it was going to be a good one.

In between orders I watched as the eastern sky got more and more bright: orange, purple, yellow. It was truly the most amazing sunset I have ever seen all the mornings I've worked or awakened early. It's things like that that are a kiss from God--so special. And when I couldn't think it could get any better, the entire sky was starting to turn orange. Every cloud I could see was covered in the warm glow.  And then when I thought it couldn't get any better than that, I started to see a rainbow forming in the west. It wasn't even raining or had been raining yet this morning and here was a huge rainbow growing longer and longer in the orange sky.

Five minutes later it was gone, ten after that the sky was gray.

My Father loves me even when He knows I'm about to spit in His face and still gives me good gifts. My Father keeps His promises even when I can't see them and end up breaking mine.

I can't understand it.